"I'Ve Bought A Ring," He Said To His Girlfriend


If you want to lớn get married but your boyfriend won’t propose, there are many possible reasons. This article is a general outline of why many men are shy khổng lồ propose.

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As a man who’s worked with hundreds of men – I’ve found that these are the đứng đầu 9 reasons why men won’t propose.

After you’ve read this article, take some time khổng lồ talk lớn your partner. If you already spoke to lớn him và he hasn’t given you a good answer, the next best step is to lớn seek the tư vấn of a coach or counselor to help dig up the real issue.

Want to lớn speak with me to lớn help your relationship move forward? Let’s chat. Book a không lấy phí relationship consult.

Here are the top 9 Reasons Why Your Man Won’t Propose (and what to bởi about it, so he steps up.

Why Won’t My Boyfriend Propose #1 –

He Already Has What He Wants With You 

Quite often, men who don’t want to lớn get married because they already have everything with you.

If you’re living together, having regular sex together, sharing expenses, và working as a couple in life, there isn’t much incentive for the man lớn marry you.

If he marries you, what does he get?

Instead of feeling excited to lớn get married, he may look at marriage as an expensive & taxing process. Not only does the wedding cost a lot, being married means being bound lớn a legal contract. That contract brings with it legal issues if there’s a divorce.

When your man says things like:

“Marriage is just a piece of paper.”

“We’re pretty much married already.”

What he’s saying is this – getting married is just an expensive process that binds us to a contract.

The man that says these things isn’t certainly saying these things because he’s not committed, but he is saying he doesn’t see the value in being married (but he sees the downsides, for example, it’s likely he knows that over half of marriage end in divorce). 

If being married is a deal-breaker for you, keep reading below where we’ll discuss what to vì to get this kind of guy to either be all in (or be out).

Why Won’t My Boyfriend Propose #2 –

He Has Questions About You & The Future Together 

When women ask their boyfriends, “Why won’t you get married to lớn me?” and the guy says, “I’m not quite ready khổng lồ get married” – it means there’s something the man needs before he proposes.

In some cases these men may need:More time with you as a coupleMore experiences togetherClearer ideas of what marriage meansWell thought out plans about what comes after marriage.

Men who say they need more time, just need clear conversations with you about marriage means. They also need khổng lồ be heard about what needs khổng lồ happen with you together as a couple before he’s mở cửa to marriage.

One of the couples I worked with came khổng lồ me because the man kept saying, “I am not ready to get married yet. I need more time with you.”

When he spoke, his girlfriend got upset và stressed that marriage meant she’d feel safe, held, and cared for by him. She was already living with him; they were having regular sexual intimacy & shared expenses. She didn’t understand what else she could give him.

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In our time together, it became clear, there was something else holding him back from proposing marriage. It wasn’t just that he ‘needed more time with her’ it was something else.

As we dug deeper into what was holding him back, he said, “Well, I know marriage means having kids. I want khổng lồ get married to her, but I don’t want kids just yet.”


The real issue was that marriage meant having kids right away.

Once the couple saw that the man’s hesitancy about marriage was what it meant, the couple worked out a plan, và soon after, he proposed to her on the rocks of Italy.

Quite often, women who want a more profound commitment jump the gun và don’t listen. Their feelings take over, và they’re unable to lớn have an open and transparent conversation with their partner. If you’ve found that this is an issue in your relationship – kiểm tra out my 4 Week Reconnection Program, it’s the most popular program for couples who want to lớn get married but have some kind of roadblock. 

In Our Interview With Dr. John Gray, He Uncovers The Fundamentals Of Understanding Your Partner Better

Why Won’t My Boyfriend Propose #3 –

He Loves You But Not Enough khổng lồ Marry You 

In my time doing this work, I’ve met many men who say:

“I love my girlfriend; I just don’t know if she’s the one.”

These men are usually guys who aren’t sure about marriage, but they believe that once they find ‘the one,’ they’ll know and pull the trigger.

If you want him to propose, there’s a chance that he does want khổng lồ get married, but he’s not sure if you’re the one.

Typically there are only two solutions to lớn help resolve this:Talk to lớn him & ask him.Wait và see what happens.

The best choice is to mở cửa up the dialogue with him. It may hurt to lớn find out that he doesn’t feel lượt thích you’re the one, but it’s better than taking years lớn find out. If he hasn’t proposed to lớn you yet, it doesn’t mean this is his reason for not proposing – but it could very well be one of the reasons.

Don’t jump lớn conclusions, talk lớn him, & keep reading to see if one of the other reasons feels more appropriate lớn your situation.

Why Won’t My Boyfriend Propose #4 –

He’s Afraid Of Deeper Commitment 

For many men, marriage is scary.

The more significant commitment, legally binding contract, và potential demand lớn litigate if the relationship ends — makes some men resistant to the marriage.

It could be fear of what happens if the relationship ends, or it could be a fear of what of committing on a deeper level.

It could also be that he’s afraid of the more profound commitment because his family, friends, and people he’s known had disastrous divorces. The fear of marriage may not mean he’s afraid of going deep with you – but it could signal that he’s worried about what happens if the marriage ends.

To find out what he’s thinking, it’s best khổng lồ ask. Unearthing these fears could very well ease him of his fears và help him move forward with you.

The best way to overcome this fear is to lớn talk khổng lồ him.

If he’s not willing to lớn speak with you directly about it, I highly recommend having a relationship coach help you through this conversation.

Your Man Afraid to lớn Commit? xuất hiện Up The Dialogue With Couple’s Coaching 

Why Won’t My Boyfriend Propose #5 –

Being Married Means Having Kids and He Doesn’t Want Kids.

The line in the sand for couples often comes down lớn this:

To have kids or not have kids.

If you want kids và he doesn’t – he may not feel good about getting married. Or maybe he wants kids, and you don’t. Whatever the case is, when couples are not on the same page about kids – it makes it hard khổng lồ move ahead with a wedding.

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For couples who are struggling in the area of marriage, this is the first question I’ll often ask them:

“Do you two have the same visions about family & your future together?”

This question usually gets to lớn the heart of why a man won’t propose to his girlfriend.

If you’re not on the same page about kids -you’ll know why you’re not engaged yet.

Working with couples who struggle with getting married, I’ve learned that resolving this area can require some more in-depth conversations.

The answer isn’t always cut-and-dry, but instead, requires creating deep dialogues about what kids mean and what marriage means.

Why Won’t My Boyfriend Propose #6 –

He Wants Kids, Just Not With You

Back in my early 20’s, I fell deeply in love with a great woman.

While I loved her, I wouldn’t propose lớn her for one reason:

I didn’t feel safe having kids with her.

While I wanted khổng lồ have a family, I just wasn’t sure she would be a great mom for the kids we would have.

Contrary khổng lồ popular belief, many men love the idea of settling down và having a family. That being said, many men won’t propose because they’re afraid their girlfriend won’t be a good Mom.

Maybe your partner loves you, loves being with you, but he’s afraid you’re not the right person to lớn be the mother of his children?

The only way khổng lồ know is by asking him.

It may sting to lớn hear that your man feels that way, but by having this conversation, you can address his concerns, work lớn improve your relationship, và strengthen his belief in your partnership.

Why Won’t My Boyfriend Propose #7 –

He’s Not Sure He Wants khổng lồ Marry Into Your Family 

When you marry someone, you don’t just marry them – you marry their family.

If you want khổng lồ get engaged và married, but aren’t – maybe it’s because your man doesn’t want lớn marry into your family.

The only way to know is lớn ask him.

I recall once dating a wonderful woman. She was great, but her family worried me. I felt shy about a more significant commitment because of her overbearing family.

Working with hundreds of couples, I’ve heard the stories of countless couples who struggle to get married until the issue of the family was resolved. If this resonates with you, talk to lớn your man about family and the role of the family in your relationship.

Why Won’t My Boyfriend Propose #8 –

He’s Worried Your Issues Won’t Change. 


Many men who are shy about marriage have told me:

“I am worried our issues won’t ever change.”

Maybe it’s not fair that Where dating allows the freedom lớn leave, marriage makes things permanent. For some men, getting married brings images of a scary future where he’s stuck in a relationship with problems he can’t take on for the rest of his life.

When your man knows you want marriage, but he hasn’t proposed, he’s likely conjured images of an unhappy future. Of course, things don’t have to be that way. Try talking to him.

The best step is to lớn talk about the concerns & work to lớn improve the relationship.

Men who fear the future is bleak won’t propose until they’re more confident about the future. Working together now to lớn talk about the issues is the best solution.

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Many men who are afraid of marriage are worried their partner won’t change. They worry marriage will just lock them deeper into your issues – và then they won’t have a way out.

The best way to lớn resolve this fear is to lớn talk. Find out about his concerns, & work together lớn fix whatever is in the way. It may take time, deep talks, but isn’t that what you want from a man who’s committed lớn you anyways?

Why Won’t My Boyfriend Propose #9 –

He Feels Inadequate

It may sound weird. Your man won’t propose because he’s afraid he’s not enough for you.

As a man, I know this feeling.

You love your partner, but you worry you won’t be enough for them. You think your partner is fantastic, but you’re afraid you might not be enough lớn make them happy.

For some men, that is a real fear. That worry keeps some men from proposing or committing on a deeper level.

Men like this frequently need lớn talk about their fears và need lớn see that they are enough.

Some of the ways you can help this kind of man are:Let him know you love him.Give him praise & acknowledgment of how great he is.Talk khổng lồ him about his fears so that it’s all out in the xuất hiện (and so you can best tư vấn the relationship).

If you have a man who fears he’s not enough, don’t make it your fault. Men lượt thích this quite often come from homes where they weren’t given enough love, attention, or praise. Self-esteem issues are at the root here. Khổng lồ help him get over these issues, you can offer up more verbal acknowledgment of love.

The next best step is lớn seek relationship coaching. Talking with a trained expert can help mở cửa up the dialogue faster & give him (and you) a safe space khổng lồ talk about things. 


Hello 24 year old female here. Been with my guy for almost 7 years. (7 in august) we have 2 kids together one is 5yrs the other 2yrs. Safe khổng lồ say everyone is probably like. Wait. What vì chưng you mean you aren’t married yet? Yea I know. Frustrated right there with you. Now I’ll be as short as I can there’s so much khổng lồ tell but basically of course I expressed my wishes to lớn him và even when we first started dating we both made it clear marriage is important and we don’t plan on divorce. Cool right. Yea. Fast forward we have our first child in 2017. I asked him to lớn marry me. He said yes but he wanted to be the one to vày it. Long story short. He never did và he said it doesn’t count after all. So whatever was annoyed so I brought it up again later. & we discussed possible ways khổng lồ get married cause sorry I don’t care about getting married. I care about being married. And I thought that maybe that would take the bao tay of. But anywho. It’s 2019 I am pregnant with our second and we decide let’s vì chưng a court house wedding. Save money & plan a celebration later cause he really wants one. Cool fine! I was happy. Got a white little dress showed off the little bump very cute. I got the receipt online for the marriage license. We just needed to lớn go there and show them & pay và then vày the whole thing there. We never did it. He kept pushing it back then he just never spoke of it. I waited khổng lồ see if he ever would. The year ended & we had our son. And he never proposed or anything. The following year I still am talking about. & he doesn’t know but around my birthday he bought a ring. I found it (he sucks at hiding stuff) và I didn’t tell him cause u know I didn’t want khổng lồ ruin the surprise. So I waited. Birthday came. Nothing. Anniversary came. Nothin. It is now. March. 2022. And he still does not know I know about the ring. But he still has done. Nothing. & I know he loves me. He tells me all the time và he doesn’t treat me bad. Yea we fight lượt thích any couple but he’s not a dick is what I’m getting at. So I told myself to lớn be patient but how frustrating it is that I expressed what I want. And he’s just. Lingering me on. He says he wants it too & we have kids so it’s like. What are u waiting for ?? I don’t get it. So I’m worried maybe he changed his mind. Maybe I’m not enough or. Maybe I gave him everything without really saying he I need a ring but still. I communicated I expressed myself và nothing. I’m not sure what I should do now. I wanna know what everyone things because I love him lớn death I don’t wanna just “oh he doesn’t wanna marry me. Peace” lượt thích no. It’s not that simple. So I just feel. Stuck.


Me and my boyfriend have been together well over a year, I want him to pop the question to me soon. I found the ring while looking for something & I’m in love with it & him. But my problem is that he’s had this beautiful ring for well over a month now and yet it’s not on my finger. He says he got something planned but I’m not so sure as when I try and talk lớn him about it he says it’s a surprise.

I’m really hurting here because it’s lượt thích he got the ring but nothing. I was given hints before and he said he wasn’t going to pop the question. & I was super hurt by this I couldn’t talk to anyone about this as I was so embarrassed but now everyone is putting a lot of pressure on me và it upsets me as I don’t know what khổng lồ say. I love him I really do và I’m so happy but it’s lượt thích I’m having this ring rubbed in my face as I know it’s there but he won’t do anything about moving us forwards. I honestly don’t know what to do. Can someone help me please ? I don’t talk about this with him all the time. I rarely bring it up but he won’t tell me anything & he saying this year we will be engaged but now he is saying “ I’ll ask your dad this month or next”. Because of the money situation I feel like it’s me he says it’s not but I really feel like it is me. I’m changing my life for him by moving into his family house with him so we can save money, I’m leaving my family behind, friends, starting in a new job, my dogs who I love so much, I just want him to lớn be serious about me and just ask me already. It doesn’t take this long to lớn plan. Am I being crazy và give him a break or is he doing nothing & just playing with my feelings?.


Hi, I và my boyfriend have been together going on 3 years & anytime I bring up the issue of marriage, he says I am pressuring him. I have told him I am not willing to date for more than 2 years, và it doesn’t take forever to lớn know that I am the one or you want khổng lồ be with me. I feel lượt thích I made a mistake moving in together before marriage which is against my culture and everybody I know after started dating after we got together is either married or engaged. I am sensing a lack of commitment from him and it’s pushing me out. He doesn’t know my ring size, at time, I can picture him proposing because I feel he hasn’t taken the time khổng lồ connect with me và can’t talk about someone else proposal và marriages in a conversation without getting in an argument.I feel I made a mistake telling him early on in the relationship that I see him in my future.Should I stay or try to Wait it out? As I am beginning to lớn feel it’s time for me to lớn tap out.

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My boyfriend & I will be together 8 years next month and still no proposal. He never brings it up và doesn’t ever engage in deeper conversations on the topic when I drop hints. He never affirms my hints. I know that he was thinking of proposing about 3.5 years ago but I made a phản hồi about how i didn’t really want a ring when he the. Showed me the ring he was going to propose with… but no proposal. All of our friends are either married or in domestic partnerships with children and we have been together the longest our of all of our friends. But he never brings up marriage. We live in France and he is French and we are talking about moving khổng lồ the US in two years, and we will need khổng lồ be married for visa reasons, & still no proposal.

How vì I raise the subject in a healthy & calm way?

I’m hesitant to bring it up because I often feel lượt thích it falls on me khổng lồ raise the serious questions. Then that makes me angry because he reacts lượt thích he hasn’t thought of the topic or says that he was going lớn bring it up.


I’m 52 years old an in a 4 year relationship, yet no proposal! We decided to lớn abstain from sex 2 years ago when I got baptized và he is ok with that! We vì chưng really live together but we do everything together. He is 54 years old no children. He includes me in all his future plans when he retires, all his vacations he even went as far as putting me as his beneficiary in all his assets, investments, ngân hàng accounts anything owes has my name on it. He says he can’t stand khổng lồ know if something happens lớn him I won’t be taken care of financially. Yet no proposal, he keeps telling me it’s coming but I’m not getting any younger & I still dream of getting proposed to & having a small intimate wedding. He wants to lớn s shack up và then everything else will follow. I am 52 not 22 và if I move in with him I know I won’t get my ring và wedding , by the time he gets around to it God knows I don’t want lớn be an old bride! Lately, I want to lớn walk away but he is a great man & I love him dearly!


My bf of almost 4 years, is divorced. He doesn’t want marriage. He did said he wants a future with me but not marriage. Recently he showed me a ring but he still has not asked me yet. (Then He said he returned the ring.) I stayed with him thinking he might change his mind about it. But I gave him an ultimatum until kết thúc of this year, no ring will means break up. & I feel that he is good with it. I love him và we do well together except out end goal. I am in my mid 30s & waiting for nothing feels lượt thích wasting time that I wont get back anymore. Knowing already I want to lớn be married & he doesn’t. Any suggestions?